And now, without further ado, here is today's tale: Julius the Magic Statue and the World's Most Evil Koala.
Once upon a time, there was a statue of Julius Caesar. But this was no ordinary statue: it was magic, and it could walk and talk. Once day, Julius got tired of being a statue, and so he stepped off his pedestal and went into the world to seek his fortune.
Julius traveled all across Italy and into the ocean. Because he was a magic statue, he didn't need oxygen like everyone else, and so staying underwater for a really long time was not a problem for him. He sank down to the ocean floor, and then he walked and walked and walked until he came to the Great Barrier Reef in Australia. He surfaced, and walked out of the ocean dripping wet. He walked across Australia until he came to a small zoo, where he met a koala. The salt water had softened Julius' skin, and he wore a blonde wig as a disguise. That is why he looks like a blond woman in this photo. The koala asked Julius to rule the galaxy with him as a joint evil overlord. Because he had nothing better to do that day, Julius agreed.
For many years, Julius worked with the evil koala. All Julius' dark ways and evil deeds seeped into his heart, and gradually, Julius became a part-time weeping angel: a creature that can only move when no one is looking at it and turns to a stone statue whenever something is looking. Weeping angels feed off of a creature's time line, and if one touches you, you are sent back in time and your time line is eaten. Julius was so set in his ways by this point that no one could get through to him and bring him back to his senses, even those that used to be his friends. Even the koala had become afraid of him. Julius had become a monster.
One day, when Julius was in town shopping for basil, he ran into David Tennant. And David Tennant was Not Amused. David looked at Julius and said: "What happened to you? You used to be a good person, and now look at you! You're a complete menace!"
Julius looked down at his feet and said "I don't know what else to be. I've been a part-time weeping angel and a full-time evil overlord for so long that I've forgotten how to be good."
David reached into his suit pocket and brought out a sonic screwdriver. He buzzed it at Julius, and Julius was healed! "Never forget," said David as he walked away, "Always be original."
And from that day forward, Julius the magic statue was good again, and bought flowers for widows and orphans. The end.