Thursday, July 4, 2013

Many Famous People Are Revealed to Secretly be Time Travelers. In Other News, Grumpy Cat is Jesus.

I studied art history this year with two of my friends. I led our very own student study group in preparation for the AP Art History exam. To be honest, we all had a complete blast, and for me (at least), there were times when it didn't even feel like work, just because I love art history so much.

However, every now and then I stumbled across a very familiar face in the course of my studies. I swear, some of the paintings I found look EXACTLY like various people nowadays. Conclusion: time travel.

Now, don't worry. I intend to prove it. Observe the following photos:

This is supposed to be a self-portrait, I'll grant you, but I still think that it's actually Julia Roberts in secret. This was painted by Zinaida Serebriakova during the expressionist period, and she obviously had a run-in with the time-traveling Julia Roberts.

This portrait, Man in a Red Turban, was done in the fourteenth century by Jan van Eyck. This picture was revolutionary, because not only was it probably the first self-portrait, but the subject stares straight at the viewer, an uncommon pose for that era. Now look at this picture of Jean-Luc Picard. Admit it: the resemblance is uncanny. Many historians think that Man in a Red Turban was a self-portrait, but it was obviously just a commemoration of a visit from a starship captain of the future who shared a few futuristic painting tips with van Eyck. 

Observe: Gustave Courbet's turn-of-the-century painting and Orlando Bloom. Need I say anything more?

And last, but certainly not least: Observe this Byzantine mosaic from Daphne, Greece. Jesus is depicted as Pantokrator (last judge). His stern expression is very familiar to those of us who spend time on the internet. Yes, friends, this work was obviously modeled on none other than grumpy cat. Someday, this feline will surely be hailed as the world's first time traveling domestic animal, and I will be cheering for him on that day. Though I doubt he will enjoy it in the least.


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