Wednesday, September 11, 2013

And Now For Something Completely Different...

Gentlemen and/or people who find fashion boring: please enjoy this vlogbrothers video while I discuss things of a girly nature with the other readers. Thank you.

And now that it's just us girly-girls here, I would like to discuss some tips and tricks regarding the concept of fashion. Yes, it is true that I identify as a nerd. However, do remember that this is just a label. I also enjoy many things that don't fit this stereotype, such as outfits, backpacking through the wilderness, makeup, hairdos, terrible romantic comedies in German, training animals, dancing, etc. My point: real people are much more varied and infinitely more three-dimensional than either the labels they use to identify themselves or the stereotypes that they are often forcibly crammed into. And so, without further ado, a fashion post.

Firstly, a method for making ponytails more interesting.

I like this style because: a) it's easy, b) I'm lazy, c) it looks good, d) it's versatile, and e) I'm really lazy. All you have to do is make a ponytail and then take a section of hair from inside the elastic. Wind that section around the base of the ponytail, keep it in place with bobby pins and/or a barrette, and hey presto, you've upgraded your head.

...Maybe I should delete that last sentence. 'Upgrade your head' just makes me think of, well, this:

But I digress. Don't limit yourself to doing this with just a ponytail, either. Try it with a side and/or low ponytail, the ends of pigtails, a bun, the end of a braid, etc. Here are some pictures of the wrap, if you're having trouble visualizing it:

And yes, that is a picture of a sci-fi character in a 'fashion' post. That's how we roll here on Rembrandt and Rubber Ducks. Have I made my point yet? ;)

(A note for Whovians: the ponytail wrap is actually what Jenny wears. Just throwing that out there for those of us who cosplay as her).

A second fashion thingy: Belts. As I'm sure you're aware, a cool belt can be a great way to spice up an otherwise bland outfit. However, if you wish to wear a belt over the waistline of, for instance, a skirt, sometimes there is too much slack on the belt and no way to secure it, as I have yet to encounter a skirt with belt loops. I have, however, found a solution for this: merely slide a small, clear hair elastic onto the belt, and tuck the excess into it. Magic.

A third fashion-y thing: Nails. You know how to keep them trimmed and not broken, because you're a big kid now. But I would like to point out it is a bad idea to keep them painted all the time, regardless of how nice that paint looks. Having paint on your nails all the time makes them dried out, yellowed, and prone to breakage (as I painfully was reminded this week). This is akin to wearing foundation on a daily basis: over time, foundation actually makes acne worse, especially for people who have horrible skin (me). So by covering up that acne with, essentially, cosmetic peanut butter, you're making your problem much worse in the long run.

Also, here's a fun nail design that I sometimes do:

1: Choose two colors that look nice together.

2. Paint one stroke slanted sideways from the base in one of the colors. Repeat this on every finger. (I apologize for the lack of photos). 

3. Once that is reasonably dry, paint another color coming from the opposite corner of the base and going in the other direction.

4. Repeat until the nail is completely painted. Here's how mine turned out:

(Again, note the pendant with Gallifreyan writing. Am I shamelessly beating you over the head with my thesis statement yet?)

One last fashion thing: vintage vintage vintage. I cannot express enough my love for society's current obsession with all things vintage and vintage-inspired. In the words of Justin Timberlake (er, sort of): We're bringin' classy back.

Gentle reader, please remember that this-- and all fashion and physical beautification, for that matter-- is very much overemphasized in our culture at the moment. Remember that makeup, hair and outfit designs are loads of fun and an awesome way to be artistic, but they're not a necessity when it comes to being happy with the way we look. Take it from me that there is nothing more classy or more hot than an aura of confident intelligence, and it doesn't matter how much lipstick you put on that. And (as I have hopefully repeated often enough in this post that you are now rolling your eyes at the fact that I am typing it yet again)-- say it with me: labels are just labels, and it is possible to be a nail-polish-loving, stylish nerd. Or a sports-loving nerd. Or a cheerleader/astrophysicist. You get the idea.



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